im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
