let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
