I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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