Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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