I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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