do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
