Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
