I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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