Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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