i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
