When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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