WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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