And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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