If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
