My hand turned me down
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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