if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
last night I used snow as a chaser
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
