I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
