C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
