If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
