hell yes lets make some ravioli
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
