So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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