are you so shy because you have an std?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
