If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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