you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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