I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
