just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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