The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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