So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize