Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
