Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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