You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
