im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
