I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
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