Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
