New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
