it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
