The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
