Nicole vs. Life
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she told me i tasted like america
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize