she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
