For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
