yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
