It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she peed on how many people?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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