if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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