my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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