did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
