I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
