i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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