I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
