i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh god it's open bar.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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