I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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