Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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