I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
