Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
