quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
