is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
