he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just gift wrapped bread.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
