Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
