I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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