dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize