We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
