well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
