in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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