I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
