As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
3pm strippers are depressing
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
