bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
