Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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