He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
