You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize