I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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