PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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