Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
