Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
