Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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