I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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